The 25 Percent Rule
Over the past few months we've focused on goal setting, calibration and re-calibration. In this blog post, I'm going to slightly deviate from our series to share on the 25% rule, pardon me. There are many versions of "The 25% rule", so bare with me as I dive into this version.
My wife and I had a good friend of ours (husband and wife) visit this past weekend. We've known each other for about 5 years and yearly our friendship renews by some summer trip to theirs in Houston, or ours in the DFW metro. We met as newly wedded couples, learning under the feet of Jesus via one of His sons and servant while we lived in Los Angeles, California. We both went through what one might consider post marital counseling and it was quite needed. Needless to say, we know each other well, the goods, the bad, and unpopular to say, the ugly.
Last night we discussed, as we often do, about marriages and what works. We learn often from each other, as the Bible says, Iron Sharpens Iron. Our initial discussion was collective, and then my brother and I retreated to discuss further "as boys". The topic was choosing your battles wisely versus complaining all the time.Therefore I submit to you, that the 25% rule in choosing your battles right, might be a great tool in effective relationship management, particularly marital affairs. Thanks for the indulgence on this read, you're encouraged to share your thoughts as well for iron sharpens iron.
My brother shared on something that has worked for him lately: The 25% rule. He said for every situation that presents as an issue, he waits for 3 more similar issues or presentations to occur before he brings forth as a concern to his wife. For instance, if him and his wife gets into an argument over say toothpaste (not actual), he'll hold his piece until the 4th incidence before bringing it up as a concern. Mathematically, that's 25% of the time.
The solution presented here is that delaying the discussion allows for breathing room. He explained that "complaining" about something that goes wrong every single time it occurs could be tiring for anyone, the complainer included. There's nothing new about this idea, but the opportunity to use this tool in managing relationships is a great one many do not have. You may know what to do, but until you have a Playbook on how to get it done, ideas may not translate to reality.